Where is God?
Where is God? This is a question lingering in the minds of thousands of Filipinos greatly affected by typhoon Ondoy, which rained down on Manila and neighboring regions Sept. 26. With victims still in flooded areas with no relief and thousands of evacuees packed in evacuation centers, Ondoy was followed by an even stronger typhoon Pepeng a week later, this time devastating northern Luzon.
Many articles had been written about these calamities, with accompanying pictures of devastation of infrastructure, homes and buildings as well as of the desolation, despair, anguish and helplessness of victims. Many heart-rending images have appeared on TV broadcasts with appeals for help, rescue efforts, babies crying for food, barrios and towns submerged in muddy floodwaters, bagged unidentified cadavers being hauled to dump trucks to be buried in mass graves, uncollected garbage along the streets of once flooded areas, damaged homes of the poor and the rich, impassable roads and broken bridges, uprooted trees, cars washed away and piled up on top of each other, and so on. Things I never thought would happen in my country and scenes I never thought I would see.
In the midst of this devastation and suffering, my faith tells me that the unseen God has been present, now more than ever before, in the lives of each and every Filipino who experienced the fury of the typhoons, and of those who have not. But where was He during the height of the storm, during the mudslides that buried alive many people living at the foot of the mountains, and during the onrush of surging waters from dams and overflowing rivers that washed away homes, towns, and even concrete bridges?
Where was God then? And where is He now? Even when my faith tells me that He has never left us and will never leave us, I still grapple with an answer that I can clearly articulate. If a child orphaned and rendered homeless by the floods asks me that question right now, what answer would I give her or him? How will I answer an old fisherman who lost his family and his only source of livelihood? What answer would I give a mother who is still searching for her husband and children and has no place to go? What would convince despairing families who are still living in remote flooded areas which are hard to reach because of impassable roads and broken bridges, that God’s hand will save them and that they will find refuge in His merciful heart?
I found an answer in a TV broadcast showing life in a crowded evacuation center. Two little girls seated on a mat were enjoying a kind of clapping game, unmindful of the squalor, the noise and confusion surrounding them. God was in their smiles when they clapped in harmony and in their laughter when they missed a clap. God was in the joy of friendship that they had found in one another.
God was and is present in the concern of Filipinos to help the victims and make their lives bearable, even in what is seemingly a dire situation. A well-known local TV and radio anchor thought of raising funds to provide the thousands in the evacuation center with portable toilets. With money donated, his group also brought portable showers to one evacuation site. Unilever provided soap, toothbrushes, toothpaste and deodorant for each evacuee; another organization supplied new towels. God is present and alive in the joy of the evacuees to have the opportunity of take care of their personal hygiene even when they are homeless, in the concern of people for their well-being and comfort, in the creativity of organizers and generosity of sponsors who made this project to happen, in the willingness of evacuees to patiently wait for their turn to shower and follow the schedule set up by organizers of the project.
God was guiding the fishermen of Laguna de Bay to find something salvageable in the ravaged lake. Waist-deep in water, they gleaned from among the water lilies and garbage washed away along the banks, pieces of bamboos and wood that they can dry and use to rebuild their damaged homes. On their faces was the hope that God remembers them and that after dry land reappears, God will help them rebuild their lives again.
Two weeks after Ondoy, I visited a friend in Marikina, one of the areas hit hardest. She described how in a matter of one hour the flood water gushed into her house and rose to five feet. In this short span of time, with the help of her house helpers and her brother’s workers, they were able to bring up to the attic the furniture and appliances in her living area. After several days of cleaning and washing away the mud from every nook and corner of the house, they had to bring down whatever they had taken up to the attic, but this time with great, great difficulty. Raquel reflected on the fact that the strength and the speed with which they were able save her belongings was God’s gift to them at a time of greatest need.
Raquel’s brother, an architect and contractor, lived a block away. His house was also affected by flood but he was able to direct the rescue team he sent to help Raquel before he took care of his own need. Hundreds of sacks of cement and construction materials he just bought for a new project were washed away by the strong current of floods. Nothing was saved. He lost millions of pesos. Yet, this great financial loss did not prevent him from looking into his family’s clothes and see what could be distributed to his employees who lost everything. God was present in Joven’s concern for his sister and his generosity to his workers.
In the quiet of prayer, after days of pondering on the question I was grappling with, I found the answer that God was everywhere during and after the deluge. He was and continues to be present in the courage of victims who swam against the strong current of flood waters and thought of creative ways to save themselves, their loved ones and their neighbors; in the untiring efforts of many volunteers who give their time, talent and resources to pack relief goods for distribution to thousands of families left homeless and destitute; in the quiet work of the Church and religious groups to reach out to flooded areas not given much help; in the men and women who are able to smile even in the midst of disaster; in victims extending help to fellow victims and in the sharing of whatever they have among themselves; in the prayers of the sick, the homebound, the elderly, and the faithful in churches for the safety of the people still reeling from the destruction of Ondoy and Pepeng; in the sun that has shown its rays again to dry up the land; in the retrieving and rebuilding efforts that have begun; in people trying to move past the tragedy without bitterness, and in the spirit of a people refusing to be crushed by great loss and suffering.
After the Passion comes the Resurrection; after death comes a new life. This is my faith. This is what I believe in. God, in His mercy and love, will give Filipinos a new life after Ondoy and Pepeng.
Noemi Castillo served for many years as director of Ethnic Ministries for the Archdiocese of San Francisco before she retired and returned to live in the Philippines.
By Noemi M. Castillo
From October 30, 2009 issue of Catholic San Francisco.
